"Life is not about
avoiding the storms but learning to dance in the rain."
Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Eric Hamm It’s amazing how far off course we can get when we’re not watching our steps. We just wake up one
day and wonder, “Where the heck am I and how did I get so far off my intended path?”
There are five things that you cannot recover in life:
(1) The Stone...........after
it's thrown, (2) The Word...............after it's said, (3) The Occasion......after it's missed, and (4) The Time.............after it's gone. (5) A person.............after they die
ARE U TIRED OF LETTING OTHERS GUIDE YOUR BOAT? if you are truly tired of letting
others have control over you then instead of being a Passenger BE YOUR OWN DRIVER
MIRACLES ARE
ALL THE SAME THE BENEFITS FOR YOUR MIND WHEN YOU FORGIVE ARE UNIMAGINABLE TO YOU
posted August 6th 2011 EMERGENCY CALL TO THE ASSAULTED WOMEN'S
HELP LINE COMMENTS: VERY HELPFUL, MADE USEFUL RECOMMENDATIONS
YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO TURN THE TABLES ON THE EGO. THE ONLY WAY TO FORGIVE WHAT IS WITHIN
IS TO FORGIVE WHAT SEEMS TO BE WITHOUT
You can channel your pain into helping others and spreading a tide of curative energy throughout
the world.
Pain is a fact of being and one that permeates all of our lives to some degree. Since the
hurt we feel may be a part of the experiences that have touched us most deeply, we are often loathe to let it go. It is frequently
easier to keep our pain at our sides, where it acts as a shield that shelters us from others and gives us an identity—that
of victim—from which we can draw bitter strength. However, pain’s universality can also empower us to use our
hurt to help others heal. Since no pain is any greater or more profound than any other, what you feel can give you the ability
to help bring about the recovery of individuals whose hurts are both similar to and vastly different from your own. You can
channel your pain into transformative and healing love that aids you in helping individuals on a one-to-one basis and spreading
a tide of curative energy throughout the world.
The capacity to heal others evolves naturally within those who
are ready to disassociate themselves from their identity as victims. In fact, the simple decision to put aside the pain we
have carried is what grants us the strength to redeem that pain through service. There are many ways to use the hurt you feel
to help others. Your pain gives you a unique insight into the minds of people who have experienced trauma and heartache. You
can draw from the wellspring of strength that allowed you to emerge on the other side of a painful experience and pass that
strength to individuals still suffering from their wounds. You may be able to council individuals in need by showing them
the coping methods that have helped you survive or simply by offering sympathy. A kinship can develop that allows you to relate
more closely with those you are trying to aid and comfort.
Helping others can be a restorative experience that
makes your own heart grow stronger. In channeling your pain into compassionate service and watching others successfully recover,
you may feel a sense of euphoria that leads to increased feelings of self-worth and optimism. Your courageous decision to
reach out to others can be the best way to declare to yourself and the world that your pain didn’t defeat you, and in
fact it helped you heal.
You can channel your pain into helping others and spreading a tide of curative energy throughout the world.
Pain is a fact of being and one that permeates all of our lives to some degree. Since the hurt we feel may be a part
of the experiences that have touched us most deeply, we are often loathe to let it go. It is frequently easier to keep our
pain at our sides, where it acts as a shield that shelters us from others and gives us an identity—that of victim—from
which we can draw bitter strength. However, pain’s universality can also empower us to use our hurt to help others heal.
Since no pain is any greater or more profound than any other, what you feel can give you the ability to help bring about the
recovery of individuals whose hurts are both similar to and vastly different from your own. You can channel your pain into
transformative and healing love that aids you in helping individuals on a one-to-one basis and spreading a tide of curative
energy throughout the world.
The capacity to heal others evolves naturally within those who are ready to disassociate
themselves from their identity as victims. In fact, the simple decision to put aside the pain we have carried is what grants
us the strength to redeem that pain through service. There are many ways to use the hurt you feel to help others. Your pain
gives you a unique insight into the minds of people who have experienced trauma and heartache. You can draw from the wellspring
of strength that allowed you to emerge on the other side of a painful experience and pass that strength to individuals still
suffering from their wounds. You may be able to council individuals in need by showing them the coping methods that have helped
you survive or simply by offering sympathy. A kinship can develop that allows you to relate more closely with those you are
trying to aid and comfort.
Helping others can be a restorative experience that makes your own heart grow stronger.
In channeling your pain into compassionate service and watching others successfully recover, you may feel a sense of euphoria
that leads to increased feelings of self-worth and optimism. Your courageous decision to reach out to others can be the best
way to declare to yourself and the world that your pain didn’t defeat you, and in fact it helped you heal.
MY TO DO LIST
I’m pretty sure I have some form
of Adult ADD. I’ve worked hard to control/hide it because, well, who wants to have ADD? I’m also pretty
sure that if Ritalin or Adderal existed when I was a kid, I would have been a user. Fortunately, I don’t think
ADD existed as a diagnosis when I was kid. At any rate, one of the ways I manage it is by writing everything down. On
any given day, I have a list or two of things I need to do, people I should call, stuff I should think about. I don’t
always do everything on the list, but there is always a list.
1. being forgetful causes more anxiety for
me 2. I've tried doing the "Things To Do List" and it also created anxiety for me 3.
So what is the answer? 4. I've missed important appointments, showed up to appointments at the wrong day with a headache to go with it. 5. I HAVE TRIED TO LEARN FROM WHAT OTHERS DO AND WORKS
FOR THEM, NOT EASY FOR ME. 6. i CANNOT AFFORD TO BE FRUSTRATED AND MAKE MISTAKES AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE. 7. Again
I question myself, what is the answer. 8. I have decided to create what works for me. I managed to buy a
regular binder, inserted line paper, bought a yellow highliter. 9. I do write
in it, don't call it the Things to Do List. But manage to highlite important facts, figures,
times and places to go. 10.The KEY is do what works for you as long as you manage to achieve and manage your life without putting it off.
New Beginnings
My name is Irene and I am a 43 year old female whose life has been impacted by domestic violence.
I met my abuser 20 years ago. Did I know he was an abuser? No. Did I know that my life would turn out this way? No. Did I
know how happy life could be when I finally had the courage to get out? No. That’s why it took me 20 years to finally
get out of the vicious cycle of abuse. Today I can admit that I was a victim of abuse. Sure I thought I hid the abuse and
for the most part, I did. I hid it from my family and friends as I was ashamed at what they would say and what they would
think.But most of all, I hid it from myself as I thought he would change.What does
abuse look like?Abuse comes in many forms.It can be verbal, psychological, financial,
sexual and emotional and in my case, all of the above.Out of the many forms of abuse,
physical abuse is the hardest to hide but the non-physical forms of abuse were actually the most scarring.
As a young child I was always bullied and as I matured into adulthood, I was happy to no longer be tormented
by school bullies.Children could be so cruel and I was glad to outgrow that painful phase of my life.I thought my life was finally taking a turn for the better when I met the man of my dreams. He was full of promises.
He said he loved me for me.So I thought. As I reflect back to when we were still dating, I realize that
him telling me to not wear certain clothes or shoes, or to have my hair a certain way, were the first signs of control.Sadly, his control would not stop there as it manifested into all areas of my life. Being from a European background,
I was comfortable assuming the traditional roles that men and women take on.My parents were my role model
and after all, they seemed happy so how bad could it be?During our first year of marriage, the physical
abuse started as he wasted no time establishing his control over me.I bought an exercise stepper in the
hopes of losing weight because he would make comments about my appearance.He hit me because I had not
asked his “permission” to buy the equipment.My self esteem was progressively being taken from
me as the days and years passed. During our marriage, he would always look and flirt with other women even
after I told him that it really bothered me. I tried to lose weight as I went on every possible diet only to have it all come
back.What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was trying to fill an emotional void in me with
food.When I did manage to lose the weight, he did not like the attention I attracted as he became jealous.So, how could I possibly make this man happy? He also did not allow me to visit with friends whom I’ve known
since childhood.I complied just to make him happy. I cooked his food, did all the household
chores, single-handedly raised the children, changed my career but it was never enough. His expectations always got higher
and higher while my self-esteem got lower and lower as that was how he controlled me. Sure I left 5 or6 times, but I always
came back. I was embarrassed, scared and did not want to disappoint my parents.After all, I married a
man from the same culture and what would people think? Unfortunately, I came to realize only recently that that my parents
would actually support me, love me and empathize with my plight. They actually wondered why I had stayed so long.What I did not realize was the amount of courage it would take and that I actually possessed it.I questioned however, whether I was doing the right thing? Today, I can wholeheartedly answer yes as I know I did the
right thing for me and my boys. When I now share stories of my abused past with people, they are astonished how I was able
to endure it for so long.I admit it took me 20 years to finally break free from the shame and to understand
the courage it would take for me to start fresh.It was the shame that kept me from telling people that
my husband and the father of my children abused me. How could I tell people that he thought that the answer
to cleaning the house was a canister of gasoline or that putting an axe through the door was an acceptable reaction because
he was angry?How can I tell people that my husband continually called me stupid in front of my children
and that I was not good for anything?Of course, I no longer feel that same shame as it is cathartic for
me to share my experiences with others.Sadly, several women have also come forth admitting to me that
they too have been in similar abusive relationships.I hope that by sharing my story
that I can save at least one other woman.Tragically, domestic abuse happens more often than you think.As victims, we all have our own stories of pain and anguish, but the common thread that binds us is that we all suffered
at the hand of an abuser.I knew that things had to change. My life couldn’t go on the same way.
The abuse was beginning to affect my beautiful children who were the only bright spot in my life and who kept me going. I
figured that as long as the abuse was on me and not on my kids, I could deal with it.I believed this until
one day my oldest son asked me “when’s it going to be enough, Mom?” This simple and honest question made
me start believing that I could get out and that I should get out.I also began to wonder what kind of
an example I was setting on my boys.Surely, I did not want them to grow up repeating the same cycle on
their girlfriends or wives as I did not want them to think abuse was acceptable behaviour.Armed with this
new found wisdom, my motherly instincts to protect my children kicked in.I knew the time for change was
here.I did not know how I was going to leave but I just knew that I needed to.My
fate was decided on January 9th 2011. My husband had been in a foul mood all day and my boys and I knew his behaviour
would not improve.In the morning my eldest son told his brother to “pack your
stuff” so that they could be prepared. My son knew his father’s mood swings and knew the escalating pattern would
not end well.My husband and I got into a heated verbal argument and he told me how stupid I was over and
over again in front of my children. I simply agreed with him and told him that I was stupid.I was stupid
for being with someone like him. This comment enraged him.He jumped up and physically abused me in front
of my boys and ended the humiliation by spitting in my face. That was the final straw.I told the boys
to get there things and we left. I called the police.He was eventually charged with assault.As I began to put my life back into order, I realized that it was now time to tell the world the story of my secret
life. It’s been one of the hardest things that I have had to do in my life but through the help of my family, friends
and intense counselling from my amazing therapist, Barbara Mills, I can see my new life unravelling in front of me.The part of my soul that he took away from me is finally being restored. I am in the process of healing and I know
that it will still take a long time but I know that I am moving in the right direction.In healing myself,
I can now help my boys to become the men that I know they can be, instead of the next generation of abusers. With the support
from their schools and outside agencies, I believe that they will become loving, caring and respectful male role models in
all aspects of their lives.
As of today, I have started a business and
hope to reach out to other victims of domestic violence and give my support to as many women who have been in abusive relationships.
No one needs to feel unworthy in life. We all have the right to live in peace and happiness, no matter what our financial,
cultural or social status. Maybe if we know the signs of an abuser then we can get out before it’s too late. Or if you
are in an abusive relationship and trying to get out, realize that there are support agencies out there that can help you
and your children. You are not alone. I am on a journey with a road ahead of me that only gets better than the one that I
left behind. It’s a new day, a new life and a new beginning for me and my boys. Having gone to hell and back, I prefer
to see myself more like a survivor than an abused woman.I prefer to see the glass as half full instead
of half empty.Life alone with my two beautiful boys is my new happy chapter and my life has a new sense
of hope and purpose.I can now conquer anything and you know what?I will.
By: Irene and I am a survivor
You could feel more daring today, meaning you are more likely to take risks. It might be that you realize
change is inevitable and that courage and planned risk-taking is something you need to propel you forward in life. Knowing
that you have the power to alter some aspects of your life for the better may help you stretch the limits you have previously
set for yourself. Perhaps you can consider what you would most like to change in your current situation and set goals to follow
through on your plans. If you do happen to feel uncertain, you may want to remind yourself that although change can be uncomfortable,
the benefits of doing something different greatly outweigh the fears, for you will most certainly learn new skills and develop
parts of yourself you may not have known existed.
Taking risks allows us to go beyond our comfort zone and encounter
new challenges that contribute to our development as people. Entering into uncharted territory enables us to expand our notion
of what we are able to do and in turn helps us expand our view of the world. If we begin to see our lives as a series of learning
events that bring us to a great understanding of ourselves and our place in the world, then taking risks becomes an integral
part of our lives. Instead of avoiding risk, we move toward it. Using your courage to change your life today will infuse your
life with fresh energy and greater means for growth
For more information visit dailyom.com
For
more information visit dailyom.com
I Believe... Two people can look at the exact same thing And see something totally
different.
We hope to use this page to share with each other our stories, hopes, dreams and inspirations.
KIM MACGREGOR ORGANIZED THIS FLASH MOB OF 200 DANCERS
TO LAUNCH THE FEEL GOOD MOVEMENT
"I BELIEVE SHE'S AMAZING'
IN HONOUR OF HER FRIEND ERICA HELLER WHO PASSED AWAY FROM CANCER
THIS GOES OUT TO ALL THE AMAZING WOMEN IN THE WORLD "THESE THEN ARE MY LAST WORDS TO YOU. BE NOT AFRAID
OF LIFE. BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS WORTH
LIVING AND YOUR BELIEF WILL HELP CREATE THE FACT"
HENRIETHA " A READ FOR ALL SEASONS AND FOR
ALL THE RIGHT REASONS!" FOR MORE ON THE AUTHOR JOYCE M. JOHNSON www.henrietha.com
I Believe... That you can keep going long
after you think you can't
The
World is a Great Book He or she who never stirs from Home Reads only one page
" A GOOD PLAN FOR TODAY IS BETTER THAN A PERFECT PLAN FOR TOMORROW"
George S Patton
THE
ART OF BEING WISE
IS THE ART OF KNOWING WHAT TO OVERLOOK!
WISDOM In seeking wisdom
the first step is Silence The 2nd is Listening The
3rd is Remembering The 4th is Practising The
5th is Teaching Others
What lies Behind
Us and What lies before us Are tiny Matters compared to what lies within us
Use Plastic Bottles for Packing Material
Use empty 1 liter soda
bottles for packing when shipping things. They're lightweight and keep their shape. You can also cut the tops off and
package the item in one bottle, then slide the second one over it and tape them together.
2011 PRAYER
Dear
God, My prayer
for 2011 is for a fat bank account & a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year. - AMEN.
Elder's Meditation of the Day
"Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and
harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our
inner temple. We ascend. like going up a stairway."
-- Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU
The
building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively
review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively,
not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, "what's the matter with me anyway." or "how could
I be so stupid?" These question lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self esteem. In constructive
review we ask, "what will I do next time?" With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace
it with wisdom.
My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.
from www.whitebison. org
DO WHAT YOU CAN: You already know that leftover paint, fertizers and
electronics don't belong in your Blue Bin. This is what you can do with them. For a complete list of materials and
drop-off locations, visit dowhatyoucan.ca
Uses for Hairspray
Here are a few things you can do with hairspray
when you need to substitute for other products.
Don't have any bug spray? Spray flying bugs with Hairspray.
It will do them in.
Ball point pen on leather sofa? Spray with Hairspray and then rub with a clean rag. Repeat
if necessary.
Want to extend the life of cut flowers? Spray the underside of leaf lightly. Flowers will last
longer.
Can't find needle threader? Spray the end of thread lightly and it will stiffen it enough to thread
your needle.
This Poem was written to me by a dear Friend named
Lois
This poem is dedicated in memory of my friend Lois who passed away September 17th
2010. She was a survivor of domestic violence. She wrote this poem to me before her passing.
Lois was a creative
being and some of her arts and crafts have been passed on to other survivors. I know she would be truly grateful.
Words of Wisdom
Your time is limited, so don't
waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's
thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage
to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
~ Steve Jobs
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. ~
Mother Theresa
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we
do for others and the world remains and is immortal. ~Albert Pine
Often when we talk about fun, or doing things just for fun, we talk about it in a dismissive way as
if fun isn’t important. We tend to value hard work and seriousness, and we forget to pay our respects to the equally
important, light side of silliness and laughter. This is ironic because we all know the feeling of euphoria that follows a
good burst of laughter, and how it leaves us less stressed, more openhearted, and more ready to reach out to people. We are
far more likely to walk down the street smiling and open after we’ve had a good laugh, and this tends to catch on, inspiring
smiles from the people we pass who then positively influence everyone they encounter. Witnessing this kind of chain reaction
makes you think that having fun might be one of our most powerful tools for changing the world.
Laughter is good
medicine, and we all have this medicine available to us whenever we recall a funny story or act in a silly way. We magnify
the effects of this medicine when we share it with the people in our lives. If we are lucky, they will have something funny
to share with us as well, and the life-loving sound of laughter will continue to roll out of our mouths and into the world.
Of course, it is also important to allow ourselves to be serious and to honor that side of ourselves so that we
stay balanced. After a great deal of merriment, it can actually be a pleasure to settle down and focus on work, or take some
time for introspection until our next round of fun begins.
I
would…
By Edith Fisher (1892-1988)
I would be pure for there are those who love me
I would be true, for there are
those who care
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer
I would be brave, for there is much to dare
I would be friend of all, especially
for the friendless
I would be giving, and forget the gift
I would be humble, for I know my weakness
I would look up, and laugh, and
lift
My Greatest Vision is that
I am adequate, courageous & powerful beyond measure. As a
child of God, it is my light that shines forth brilliantly, knowing I am gorgeous, talented, & fabulous. Shining with
the light of a child filled with innocence & wonder my enlightened being serves the world. I stand tall and walk in my
power to manifest the glory of God that is in everyone. As I let my light shine, I give others permission to do the same.
I am liberated and my presence liberates others."
Adapted from Marianne Williamson's Your Greatest Fear,
by Cherie Ann Day
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR Monday, January 24, 2011
Accepting disapproval +++++++++++++++++++
If you give in to the disapproval of others, you'll simply encourage them to disapprove even more. If you
fight against their disapproval, that will also cause their disapproval to grow stronger.
Your most
effective response is to gently accept the disapproval, then let it go and move forward. That strategy will dilute
and dispense with the resistance you encounter faster than anything else.
Stop needing the approval of others,
and you'll receive more approval and support than ever. Live each moment from your own inspiration, not from
your desire to look good in the eyes of others.
You can be exceptionally kind, loving, giving and respectful
without being a slave to the opinions of others. Accept that other people will disapprove of some things you do,
and you'll free yourself to do truly magnificent things.
Your great value does not derive from the approval
of others. You are entirely worthy and able to give much to life, regardless of what anyone else may think.
Graciously and enthusiastically accept that others will disapprove, no matter what you do. And delight in the
freedom of doing whatever you know is right for you.
A lady will be counted and cast In with the holiday harlot, should
she marry And decide thereon to divide And divorce with her love not to last. Unless the reason is adultery, and
abuse,
or her husband Leaves her life, because of his doubt about her Lord,
otherwise she is out from the cruel circle of the cunning church. A woman will always
be a weak hand with the man at the peak,
I would say, a lady in the lurch. She is the abused and used wife, because she could Die At the brutal hands of her hideous husband. As she listens
to this man's list of lies, As she casts off her wedding band. The violated wife once was a victim, God
does not think of this woman, the Woman must stay and suffer the abuse in front of God And Man. Where is
the Lord's love towards the Favourite? What can the abused lady do? She had Better leave!!! Life is so grim
for us. This too I believe passes. What can the defiled dame do? When he Deceives her again every day into believing That she will have someone special who will believe? Tears form in her heart as this all I write. I hate to tell
you the harsh truth, I am an ardent Feminist, almost fatal, like a femme fatale, Always on the abused one's
side.
